Today a friend posted the following quote in regards to adoption:
“We didn’t sign up for easy.”
It struck such a chord with me; I literally broke down and sobbed sitting right here at my computer. You see, I am so full of gratitude for the blessings we have seen this month, for the fact that Y is beginning to want to communicate, that the children are relatively healthy, that our trip to Ethiopia was wonderful and I long to do more/know more about the wonderful place that will always hold a part of my children’s hearts. Yet I am so very in touch with my sinfulness – with my complete inability to meet all of these children’s needs at every moment. In my own strength I just don’t have enough patience, enough grace, enough washing machine capacity to get it all done! But God does, and He has shown me that again and again this last month.
Beyond all of that I am keenly aware that however hard this is, I so badly want to show these children the love of God. I fail daily, probably even every minute…yet I want what God wants for our family, even if it is hard. I want to know God more. He might not bring us hardship, but He might…and that is okay.
Then I read this at Seeking Faithfulness and was again encouraged by God’s faithfulness!
Gratitude Send some rain, would You send some rain? ‘Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud? Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid But maybe not, not today Maybe You’ll provide in other ways And if that’s the case… We’ll give thanks to You with gratitude for lessons learned in how to thirst for You How to bless the very sun that warms our face if You never send us rain Daily bread, give us daily bread Bless our bodies, keep our children fed Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight Wrap us up And warm us through Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs Let us slumber safe from danger’s view this time Or maybe not, not today Maybe You’ll provide in other ways And if that’s the case We’ll give thanks to you With gratitude A lesson learned to hunger after You That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread Oh, the differences that often are between Everything we want and what we really need So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace Move our hearts to hear a single beat Between alibis and enemies tonight Or maybe not, not today Peace might be another world awayAnd if that’s the case… We’ll give thanks to you With Gratitude for lessons learned in how to trust in You That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream In abundance or in need And if You never grant us peace But Jesus, would you please…. –from Nicole Nordeman’s cd, Woven & Spun
Thanks Jen.
“We didn’t sign up for easy” strikes a chord with me too. We wouldn’t have the same intimacy with God if it was easy, though. That’s the lesson that I’ve learned this past year.
Ah, I was talking to another friend this week…we talked about how the Christian life really isn’t supposed to be easy. Times of peace, joy and love…yeah! But easy? Not a lot of the time!
Jen, it is such a blessing to me to read about your journey – your joys, your struggles, your growing as a family. God bless you and your husband and your little ones!
Thank you. I haven’t had time lately to read your blog, but I came in to work on a Friday to do some “catch-up” stuff and decided to “catch-up” here first. After reading the last few blogs, i just sat here and cried (I was thankful Chris stayed in his office). You made me realize that I have so much to be thankful for – the first of which are my two beautiful daughters and the wonderful husbands that God provided for them and my four beautiful grandchildren. That it really didn’t matter that the furnace in our offices wasn’t working all week – we all had enough clothes to keep us warm and if it got really cold, we could have gone someplace else to get warm. Thank you for reminding me of what is really important! I love you. mom/grandma